diseased !

still diseased....!!


its like i lost some part of my body !!
some part mal-functioning ......!! when will i be redeemed ??

spare me life lord .....!! yeah ..you made a nice move ....its long way to go ....!! will check mate you one day ...!!


now back to my present status .....


back to hyd ..lolzzz !!


this place never stops pulling me towards it .....!! its been like 48 days since i last blogged ....
kind if busy with few things ...finding  my self  i guess .......!!

met few people..they are awesome ..will  be blogging abt them  ..!! started a new life all together with binny ,laxmi,revanth . !! i am never a job-material kind of person .....now i am scared how i am gonna manage that .....!!
life is so un-predictable .....i was like so careless and never bothered about future .....its a lesson that will never be forgotten .....!!

i seek no revenge ..its so stupid !!  i even regret for few things i did ......

huhh ....i wish this is last time that i am talking abt it in  the blog ..........

then i guess  i found my redemption ....!! :)

the sweet little lies............

she is back again...i am slipping into her thoughts .......


she is killing me .....its been 2 months and am not able to concentrate.

i need help..!!

i need to concentrate.....
i need to focus .....
i need to deviate myself to other things ...!!

i often think of taking a chance ......trying to reach her but i stop myself from doing that .....i did my best and its her turn to decide ..............


if she is like ok with things ,why am i taking this to heart ??

i am not able to study at all........

all those sweet little lies are haunting me ....why am i so like unprepared ....why dint i see it coming ........i think i  was so in love with  her ....!!

but do i deserve this .,the pain ?? 


what happened to all the i-love-u's?? 
all the i wont-leave u stuff ...??
all the no-one-but-you bull shit words???

she just not only poisoned my heart but she poisoned everything around me ........everything !!

i should delete her from of my thoughts ....or should i wear this as an armor and move on with life ???

what is she going through ???

ufffff..............this is wat they call living  hell i suppose...............................

i guess i should carry this baggage called "got-betrayed" all my life  and  gift  my heart to her thoughts and see it burn in hell .....

hyd !

had great fun last three days ....................

went to Hyderabad with friends ...................best part is i was able to manage myself with out her thoughts ..!!

she is still wandering  around here and there in my mind but i am learning how to live with out her ....!!

i wonder what she is thinking .......is she kewl with evrything ??

she moved on ???

awhhhhhhhhhhh its killing me .....!! 

dear future narendra !!

Dear future narendra@28.,

How are you doing buddy ?? How's life ?? I am doing the best to hold on in this tough period !!

I wish you are settled in life by now and you got over her I hope ....when you turn back and see .,I tell you these years are really not worthy at all to be remembered !!

She was not worthy bro-! Not even a bit to even think of ......she is not a good human being !!!

She almost killed you ......I know what you went through ....it was living hell & I am glad you made it ....

I still remember that night you holding your moms hand and crying like a little kid ....
I remember you looking at phone all day waiting for her call ....
I remember you crying asking yourself many questions for which only she knew answers ..
I remember you taking those sleeping pills .,getting addicted to them !

But now I am proud of u sir ...you did whatever it is required ....

Work hard ! ....i heard life's pay check is awesome ..so !!!!
'm with you always ......when I come there and read this stuff .,she will be a lost memory !!

you will be in love again ..dont worry abt that !!
you wont die alone for sure ....check the sex ratio in India man..its 940 !! ;) ...not bad !

Take care sir
Narendra@ 25

RESUME OR REBOOT

awwhhh ....


kind of confused ...!!


should i be resuming my life or should i reboot ...???


resume would make me live with her thoughts and memories which is like living hell .....and reboot would erase her completely which i really dont want to do .........

i ask my self every day where it went wrong ...???

its not that i lost something or gained something .....life seems so dull ....suddenly i just feel dejected ....flashes of her killing me .....

i sleep thinking of her and  my heart its so heavy  these days .........
i even  woke up with her thoughts .....


wish i get well soon ......wish i get over her and find my-self again ...!!!



peace !!



love rocks !!rocked my life ;)

the back stab !!

IT WAS A FIERCE BATTLE ........IT WAS ON !!

I WAS SO STRONG AND WAS ON FIRE .....THERE WAS NO STOPPING AND THEN SUDDENLY I WAS STABBED FROM BACK BY MY VERY OWN (WHOM I THOUGHT WAS ...............)


I FELT LIKE THAT KARNA IN MAHABHARAT WHO WAS HELPLESS IN THE BATTLE ...!!AS THEY SAY THERE ARE LIKE THOUSAND REASONS FOR HIS DEATH .,BUT FOR ME THERE WAS ONLY  ONE REASON FOR LOOSING MY LIFE.............ITS HER !!

WHAT IN THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING ....!!
I THOUGHT I KNEW THIS GIRL ............

I SAW THE TRAITOR FORM OF HER THAT DAY ..!!

I WOULD HAVE TAKEN THE BLAME ON ME IF SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE IS BEING FORCED .....BUT SHE WAS LIKE PLAYING A SAFE GAME ..... BIG BLIND !!

& THE IDIOT ME WENT ON FOR "RAISE" ALL THE TIME ....SHOULD HAVE GONE FOR A DROP !!


ITS ABT BEING HAPPY ....& WHEN SHE THINKS ITS NOT WORKING ..WHERE IS THE POINT AND
WHY IS IT TAKING A LONG TIME FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND IT ??

BREAK-UP'S ARE LIKE THE ADD-ONS TO UR SHAADI-RESUME THESE DAYS ......

CHILL !!


SHE WAS NOT URS BACK THEN .....SHE WAS NOT URS NOW .....!!


THE SAFE-GAME WORKED FOR HER  ...............................:)

walk through....

you will be surprised to know that history is good for break-ups ....

i mean you go visit some place which got some historical significance you will feel better !! :)

TRUE !!


i actually should thank my family for holding on to me ..they were like a real support !!

i went to rajasthan .....loved the trip !!

yeah occasionally i just slipped into her thoughts but i had a great time...!!


chittorgarh !! bilwara !! udaipur !!

awesome treat to my eyes !!

and then friends .....!!

awhh !! man they just rock !!

thanks guys !!



it dint make any sense to me after few days ....why am i being like this ...!!

people are like so in love with you ..one person left you and you just hurt urself and others too...


neahh!!

dust it off i thought !!


thats wat i did ..&


thats how a new me was born  ....!!

Break-Up !!

date: 03-09-2012


life isnt same......
i miss talking to her
i miss walking with her
i miss fighting with her .......


what she did sucked .,i was devastated  !! my life suddenly turned black !!

to reach her became my destiny ...........
lived for years in that reality ....
found love which i thought was  full of purity ......!!


i lived for her ...i planned life with her ! its hard to believe that she just left !!

all the promises ..all the i-wont-leave-u stuff everything seems so stupid now...!!



date :24-09-2012

life is cool

i don't miss her (lie)

what she did  sucks for me ...not for her may be ...!!

life is full of fun ...!! we just need to learn to make it colorful !


we need love ...when we dont find it we leave that place ...may be she left me cause she dint feel it ..!!


i dont want to wish any luck to her ;)

duh !! she killed me almost ...lolzz !!


kidding ....

i want her to be happy but i also wish for a day where she realizes that she made a huge mistake !!


people out there who lost in love......

just hold on .....time heals things !!

seaRch !!

a new life all together !!

as leanardo says in that titanic movie life is so unpredictable !!

i ended up in land of nerds !!


people here are different !!

i never met people with such determination !! life for people here is hard word !!

there dream is driving them forward !!

its awesome to be a part of it !!


looking forward for the judgement day !!